I wish nothing but the best for you.

Went to school today, the start of the one week academic program.
Time passed quite quickly, it wasn't that bad actually.
Couldn't concentrate in some lessons (eg Chem and some parts of Amath) though, didn't understand a shit.
Kinda stoned and zoned out for a while there.
Physics was quite interesting, did a SPA practical with a data logger and naphthalene.
English, finished a comprehension in less than an hour woohoo.
Bio, learnt about our eyes and stuff.
Chem, learnt about stoichiometry (did i spell that right?).
Amaths, R-formula.
MT, did 综合填空s.
Yup that was my day.

After school, went home with him and then went to meet yiling at JP before meeting my mum at westmall to choose my new spectacle frames. My mum wanted me to get an extra pair in case my current spectacles break in Cambodia. I chose purple again!
Purple specs suit me best. (Y)
Mum made me write down the topics that i have learnt today and my goals for today night.
I have finished doing my 综合填空 homework and reading a few stories from the chinese storybook we were supposed to read as holiday 'homework'.
I'm left with reading Goodnight Beautiful by Dorothy Koomson.
Apparently it's an awesome book.
I'm sure it is. Dorothy Koomson ROCKS. :D

Conflicting, confusing emotions that coursed through me with the velocity of a recently undammed river were fighting to be released in a torrent of tears.

-My Best Friend's Girl, Dorothy Koomson.

I set fire to the rain.

Went running with him today. 

Quite the fail coz i was super tired so i dragged him down with me.

In the end we didn't even run much. More like walked.

I'm such an unfit person! 

Well, it was fun so it doesn't matter. HAHA no la.

Next week i have to seriously run more.

After running, chiong-ed home, bathed, changed, and went out to meet PBJs at JE.

Went to Scape and Ion Orchard.

Bought some quite decent and cheap stuff at Scape, then walked to Ion for lunch.

They were sort of advertising the Museum of Horrors thing at Scape, so people dressed in creepy costumes were walking around the flea market there and inside the Scape market.

Super creepy. They were holding some tin boxes thing and they will randomly shake them at people.

There was a girl who was holding some scary shit blood-covered baby and she was shaking the tin at random people. I jumped two times when she shaked it even though i knew that she was there LOL stupid.

There were so many caucasians around orchard, and they were all so handsome/pretty/hot.

I'm so damn jealous. There was this one girl that looked like Anne Hathaway.

Pretty max. Why can't i be like that D<

On top of that there were super cute babies around too. ~

My right arm, left arm, and right waist is hurting like a bitch now because of the heavy stretcher that i was carrying yesterday. Stupid small-sized body can't take anything.

Maybe after this pain i'll get muscles. Har-dee-har. Yeah right.

My legs are hurting too. Must be because i haven't walked that far/jogged for so long already that i strained them. Oh great.

Kay anyway i have a dental appointment tomorrow.

I wanna cut hair but apparently there's no time, so oh well, next week then.

AND there's school on Monday until 3pm, TORTURE.

When i told my parents that they were shocked.

Yeah, i'm shocked too.

It's like holidays already and we still have to go.

They wanted me to study and revise stuff at home.

Oh well too bad. It's not like i have a choice.

Sorry for party rocking.

FYEAH LAST DAY OF SCHOOL TODAY.

Though next week there're still lessons and stuff but today's the official last day of school man.

And we had a 5km cross country run to celebrate it yay.

Luckily i have first aid duty MUAHAHA.

Yesterday yiling texted me saying "the first 29 people who reply me will be involved in the first aid duty"

and when i saw that immediately snatched up my phone and typed out a reply to her like the kiasu singaporean that i am!

First aid duty was boring today, no casualties at my point at all.

That's a good thing though. Better than running.

Carried the heavy stretcher after that from like, the side gate of chinese garden to the entrance.

Not very far, but it was super heavy! 

A few of us starting singing and chanting cheers while we were walking back to school.

A bit crazy, i know. But it helped to pass time and before we knew it, we alrd reached school. 

Then prize presentation and got back our report books.

My results are so shitty that i can't bear to even look at my report book.

But the super awesome thing is that my cip hours is freaking 78hours 30mins.

How the shit did i get that many hours!?

HAHA i'm proud. :P

Slacked in rc room for awhile, went jp to eat+slack, met him and homed.

My dad's coming home tomorrow morning!

And i'm going running with him. I'm being forced. LOLJK.

Planning to go SCAPE flea market with PBJs too. 

Apparently there are many cool and cheap things there~

This is a lame post, just to update my dead blog.

Haven't been posting for quite some time already huh. :)

Yeah right.

I really hate being lied to and I really hate being accused of things I didn't do.

(Y)

You say goodmorning, when it's midnight.

HI today was quite a fun slack-ish day!
English lesson, Mr Tan didn't come, so Mrs Norlinda made us do some "testimonials" for each other.
We had to write our names on a piece of paper then pass it around the class.
Everybody had to write something good on every piece of paper that they got.
The papers were passed around until you got back your own one.
Mine was quite nice uh, the things that people said touched me HAHA.
Even though they were all anonymous, it makes me super curious to know who wrote what.
But you know, curiosity killed the cat! So i shall leave it at that.
Someone wrote "quiet in class - FAIL" on my paper and i shall ignore it.
Not gonna let some stupid comment bring me down yo!
I used up 4 packets of tissues today, 2 of which were not even mine haha oops sorry.
Currently i have this bag full of tissues on my table beside me now too LOL.

After english it was emaths then history i think.
Emaths, went through Paper 1. Mr Li was talking to us about our MSG (3.475 ohhyeahhh) and stuff before he started the lesson proper and he was like "next year probably i wont be taking you all anymore - YES!" then he did this super cute hand action thing and his face was funny! :P
Thenthen during history we watched The Pianist!
It's about what happened to the Jews during Hitler's Rule and stuff.
Damn cool but some parts quite gruesome i couldn't take it.
Seriously la how could they treat the Jews like this it's like super unfair i feel like smacking them. :@

After recess, had emaths again, but Mr Li let us continue watching The Pianist coz we didn't seem interested in going through the answers for the paper ahaha.
Then after that was bio i think. Went through our papers by ourselves = slack session!
K then after that i went home with Umeh and slacked at home until now.

School is really better and more fun than staying at home alone!
Especially with awesome friends and HIM. :D
Tomorrow there's no school though, so i'm gonna be sad again. :(

HI KERYILING :P

WORRIED SICK.

Literally worried and literally sick.
Where are you? :(

When the last straw is broken, when the last door is closing.

Didn't go to school today.
Woke up in the morning, tied my hair and changed and everything, then my dad said that i stay at home better because i like keep sniffling and stuff so he u-turned and drove me back home.
Changed, and slept like a pig until about 11am.
Still super tired though but i dont want to sleep anymore.
Dad brought me to a clinic at Westmall, bought food then came home.
And then he went back to work.
So now i'm all alone at home and it's raining super heavily and i'm slightly scared.
While the rest of my class are in Temasek Poly at their open house listening to an awesome ass talk about their courses and stuff.
I wanted to go. :( Sigh this is life.

Andandand i wrote a note to my parents about my results and put it on their table.
Hope i dont get too much nagging later on.
Crossing my fingers.

He has been keeping me company from the morning until now, replying whenever he can.
Thanks darling. ^^
Amanda has been keeping me company too and telling me stuff that happens.
Thanks PBJ. ^^
Because of them i feel much better today and not so lonely. ~

SICK. AGAIN.

WTF SERIOUSLY WHEN WILL PEOPLE STOP JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE?
I DID NOT GET A DAMN SORE THROAT JUST BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO DO PC DURING MORNING ASSEMBLY.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DO YOU THINK I'LL GO TO THAT EXTENT?
DO YOU THINK I WANT THIS DAMN SORE THROAT?
ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

School was shitty today.

Results are shitty.

Everything is shitty.

I feel like my blog is the only place where i can express my feelings properly, hoping that someone will realise and care for me instead of judging me for it.

I'm not doing this for attention, i'm doing this because this is what i really feel.

I really should lock my blog soon.

I am fucking screwed and i know it.

I can't even look at my results without tearing up.

Aiya whatever la im just being a nuisance to everybody.

Disappointed myself, my friends, my parents.

I want to drop school badly. Then everyone will be happy.
No shit to disappoint them with.

You think i want this to happen?
Have some sympathy please.
Even though i didnt try THAT hard, i still tried right.
Please, someone just CARE.

My heart is so jetlag.

So niceee. 

Went out with Yiling and Amanda today.
PBJ outing yo.
We went to Vivo to slack and shop.
It's like the last day we can slack lor after tomorrow (results day) i will be dead seriously.
I'm super scared for my results. :(
Short post today uh. I'm super tireddd.
My family is watching some show about this pig as a class pet wth super touching.
Okay lala i'm gonna die tomorrow bye.

I HATE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.

My self-esteem is so low that i bet i can't even last a day without bringing myself down.
I have to stop being so harsh on myself.
I know that, but i can't stop.
I can't compliment myself without saying "HAHA JUST KIDDING".
I have to stop this nonsense but i don't know how.
I feel damn worthless. I need help. I somehow seem to be suicidal.

PS: The moodswings must be getting to me.

I ran out of bandaids.

Went out with him today. We went to watch Real Steel at GV Jurong Point.

He saw Rachel whom he thought was pretty LOL. Confirm prettier than me one la dont need to say.

It was a super awesome 2h 10mins movie! Even though i got a splitting headache after that but i dont regret watching it ahaha. Especially when i'm watching with a loved one~ 

Went to Mcdonalds for lunch first, bought tickets, then slacked at the library searching for books until the movie started at 3.30pm.

The movie really super nice lor. I cried two times because got some parts nearing the end that were very touching. Highly recommended movie. (Y) 

The movie is set in the year 2020 and there're cool shit gadgets and robots and stuff.

The kid is really cute too! 

Today was a fun day. <3

Screwed up now because my mum is accusing me of 'throwing' away $10 coz the stupid topping up machine at the bukit batok mrt station screwed me over and didn't top up my ezlink card AND didnt return me my money. Stupid right. I don't know if it's due to my carelessness or something but I DEFINITELY DID NOT 'THROW' IT AWAY. Who would throw away money seriously.

Having ridiculously horrible moodswings right now. I'm hurting everybody -.-

But i can't help it, it's making me cry one second and pissed off the other.

I really am a bitch.

Who knows how many people have called me that already.

I should just be isolated from everybody sua.

Policy of Isolationism.

"If someone calls you beautiful long enough, you will believe it. If they tell you something often enough you will believe it."

-My Best Friend's Girl, Dorothy Koomson.

 (No wonder i don't ever believe anything that people tell me. Because it's always the first and the last time that i will ever hear that compliment.)

I really need to go and cut my hair! :( 

True that.

At night when the stars light up my room.

Hi there!
EXAMS ARE OVER FYEAH.

Have been feeling kinda lonely these few days, but probably it's because i have been going home straight away after school because it's exam period. But i rarely talk to people online anymore too.
I want to spend some quality time with someone. Really badly.
I wanna have fun. I need to go out.
K anyway i'm alone at home now having lunch alone and reading romance mangas like some lame loner.
My self esteem and confidence level has decreased by at least 50% this week.
All i get everyday are insults from people.
Is it so difficult to say "you're awesome" instead of "you suck"?

Results for EOY will be out next week.
I hate the time when i show my parents my results.
I'll be like "HEY MUMMY AND DADDY I PASSED MAN I THOUGHT I WOULD FAIL"
And they would be like "PASSING IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOU SEE YOUR SISTER ALL A"
I hate it when people compare me with my sister.
Not only my parents, everytime someone knows that i was from RGPS and that i went to Jurong, they'll be like "why the hell did you go to Jurong I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART?"
I mean like, my sister's from RGS, so?
I was from RGPS, sososo?
I got into RGPS because my sister passed the Gifted Education Programme tests and stuff and CHIJ didn't have that so she transferred to RGPS and i was transferred there too so it would be more convenient in the sense that our parents didnt have to think about how to send us to different locations every morning.
I'm not super smart or anything just because i was from RGPS.
Stop stereotyping people in RGPS as super shit smart people.
We're all normal people too you know, we get lazy sometimes and get bad results sometimes.
My friend had the same PSLE marks as me.
So you're saying that she's stupid too is it?
She got into a better school too.
What's wrong with choosing to be in Jurong anyway.
I like it here. And no matter what you say, you can't bring me down dammit.

Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone.

HAI.
Amaths and Bio paper 4 today!
Kinda screwed both wtf im praying that i pass :(
-sigh-
Anyway, tomorrow's the last day of exams YEAH MAN.
I'm going to slack like shit on saturday sunday and monday.
Then we'll know our results already so cannot slack anymore.
Wtf im really scared of knowing my results.
Hope i do okay for MCQ tomorrow. Though i haven't started studying yet.
Going to start soon ba.

Finally going to collect my items from a MIA blogshop owner tomorrow!
FINALLY. ~ Okay bye. Short post today.

My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close.

HI. Had Emaths paper 1 and Chem paper 3 too.
I mean seriously, we should have Chem paper 1 first lor, it's called paper ONE and paper THREE for a damn reason!
Okay anyway emaths was easier than i expected i seriously hope i passss.
Chem was shitty and i screwed it.
You know why? Coz i had a super bad stomachache, THAT'S WHY.
I'm so pissed with myself can. I couldnt concentrate coz it was so pain until i started sweating cold sweat and i was squirming around in my chair and i gave up the last 20mins or so coz i couldnt stand it anymore i was trembling and i was feeling faint i have no idea why so i just said fk it and stopped checking my paper.
I told my mum i would do badly and she said okay HAHA.
It's not my fault anyway lor the stupid troll stomachache had to come during my chem paper.
At least it wasn't that bad during the emaths paper phew.

I forgot to bring my earpiece and house key today so i was locked outside my house with no entertainment until my dad came home from work just to open the door for me then he went back omg so nice right love him. ^^
Physics paper 2 and emaths paper 2 tomorrow.
Again, physics paper TWO is called that for a reason sheesh.
K bye i'm going to rest a while more then start work maybe. :)

I want a dog who can greet me when i reach home everyday.

Now i'm just a lonely loser alone at home with noone to talk to.

Everybody else's just studying. :'(

cuteboythings.tumblr.com < everything you have ever done for and to me is here. <3

i love you.

Short post today.
Today is our sixth monthsary! <3 i was feeling happy this morning and early afternoon but then i reached home and all the stress came pouring onto me and engulfing me and suffocating me with the fact that i cant do emaths and chem questions i feel damn terrified that i wont be able to answer a single question tomorrow and now i have a fear of failing english because i can tell that i rly wrote a lot of shitty answers okay im really scared now i am tired and echausted and frustrated so i shall sleep at the normal time today.

I just want to drop everything and start over. :(

Hi there.
If you've got anything about me that you'd like to bitch about,
Please tell me in my face.
I don't care if i'll get hurt or anything.
At least i'll know how you really feel about me.
Thank you for your cooperation.

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

Hi im feeling quite the happy today because i actually could write my History essays and managed to sort of finish it MUAHAHA.
Success yo. Just hope i don't fail la if not i will slap everybody i see. SERIOUSLY.
I'm hungry i wanna eatttt. nomnom.
I'm resting for today, had amaths mock test after school too but it was quite okay luh.
History AND amaths made me super tired though.
Tomorrow then start studying again. :)
Going to someone's house tomorrow to study yayayay. <3


I'll never be perfect, i'll never be cool, i'll always be nothing, unless i'm with you. 

SCREWED.

Hi short post today coz i'm panicking everybody has already/is studying history now freak i like havent even studied AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Okay anyway had english paper 1 and 2 today, screwed it la so hard i wrote nonsense for my compo again!
Sure fail one. SIGH.
I dont like seeing people sad. :(
Okay i go copy finish my fascism notes first bai.
Heng tomorrow's not history but it's on friday SHIAT.
I'm seriously going to fail.
My brain capacity is too small to memorise shit like history.
I DONT WANT TO FAIL BUT I CANT MEMORISE WTF CAN I JUST JAM IT INTO MY BRAIN.
Frustrated. -.-
And now my whole body's getting covered with mosquito bites by some pervert mosquito.

[edited]
I just smacked the mosquito and proceeded to scrape it across the edge of my roller chair, causing the pervert mosquito to get squished up and it's dinner (my blood) to spurt out of it's body like a burst tiny blood vessel.

在屋顶唱着你的歌~

Chinese Paper 1 and Paper 2 today.
Quite okay la, but my compo is totally nonsense and i chionged the open ended part of Paper 2 so i might have just screwed the whole thing up without knowing.
I think i made him angry again. It's always me doing stupid things sigh.
Lost my fascism notes and now i can't study for history.
I shall slack for a while then go off to memorise the formats for english situational writing.
Andandand a big thanks to him for buying new earpiece for me.
I spoil my earpiece like once every few months so i'm really grateful.
I owe him a lot. He's always there for me and i'm just always screwing shit up.
Sorry. Love ya. <3

A certain someone bit my arm yesterday now there's a blue-black and it hurts like shit! :(

EOY STARTS TOMORROW.

Chinese is horrible i'm going to fail my compo super damn badly or just pass i can guarantee.

Hopefully i wont do that badly though. Or i will be buried alive and i will hate myself x gazillion.

I like my new e-dictionary haha it's so new and awesome.

Thankyou mummy!

Today was a tiring day. I am quite a failed person. :x

Yup anyway short post today coz im super tired i wanna bathe and go sleep already.

I have no idea how to study for chinese and english soooooooooooo...

My brain's going to explode from trying to memorise all the history information.

Which i will start tomorrow.

HEHE. Feel like dabao-ing nasi lemak or beehoon or something to go home and eat.

It's been a long time since i ate cheap food like that ~

Too many expectations.

Too weak body.

Too stupid brain.

I have an awesome other half. ^^

Hate myself for being so stupid.

Hate myself for hurting everybody and not realising it until it's too late.

Hate myself for having bad memory.

Hate myself for looking like this.

HATE IT.

I will break these chains that bind me.

Life sucks.

I have absolutely no effing idea on how to study history.

Memorizing is not doing me any good and i can't memorize anything anyway.

Seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Going out with PBJ to mug later on.

Sort of slacking now coz im tired. I know that's a super lame excuse but, MOODLESS.

Short post today. :)

I started missing you as soon as we said goodbye.